Optimism

If there has ever been a better time to smile it is right now. A few months ago tragedy struck the relationship between me and my very best friend. We distanced and fell apart while going our separate ways. This left me feeling very alone as you see, I may be a friendly individual but I have a very hard time connecting with and caring about people. Something I must work on, but that isn't the story for this post.

Time passed and I did my best to look at this situation in every light or to simply not look at it at all. I, being and optimistic person, decided that the best way to handle this was to be thankful for the lessons learned and time shared while the relationship was alive. Despite my best efforts and forced smiles, the ice started to form.

Success flooded me. Accomplishments occurred. Everything seem to be going fine, it wasn't. My art had left my fingers and my smile vanished. People I thought who were friends were revealing themselves and dropping like flies, I was literally becoming solitary. The ice had almost completely formed around my heart once again and I had come to accept my fate. You see, I learn to adapt despite the situation. It is key to survival after all; Then suddenly I received an instant message from her.

It started out as simple chit chat, nothing to remember really, but it then grew and grew into tear-stained words and violent expression. I spilled the reality onto the floor (do not worry, I remained composed and lady-like) and she shared her perspectives, opinions, and views. We discussed and empathized hour after hour til finally the perfect words were spoken. We confessed our missing each other and constructed a solution. With that we are now friends again.

There are rough patches to be smoothed, primarily on my part because I am so sensitive, but my heart was saved just in time. I feel the ice melting again and I smile brighter than I ever have before. I have my very best friend back and I forgive her completely. Friendship is something I value over everything else and her friendship is something irreplaceable. I feel whole again, revived, like I could take on the world again. I love this feeling and I love that girl.

My love for her goes worlds beyond friendship but just to be able to say 'friend' is more than good enough for me. I do not need her romanticism, I need her love. I have known this even before her. It does not matter to me if I end up with a lover. It matters to me if I end up with a forever friend and guess what, here she is, the only person in the entire world who has ever been able to turn my hell into heaven. My precious friend, Alice.