All A Jumble

The things that I have been through, the things I have seen, I just don't know why it all happened to me and I am sure more is to come. This post is not about self pity or sadness. It is about my own personal demons and how I am going to try and handle them.

I need to organize my thoughts, I cannot plan when I will be hit like a ton of bricks by a shadowed memory, but I need to have a game plan for when it happens. I am currently going through said bricks, so this is a great time to do some thinking. Okay, demons I have buried are here to visit, give them a wave? Accept them? Run away? No. I need to face them. It has been way too long and now is the time.

I will face them with confidence, I have made it this far and I must keep going. I have the strength to take them and eliminate them for once and for all. I am a strong and fierce woman. I am a princess, and when faced with trouble one must keep their nose in the air and not let the feelings show. There is nothing wrong with emotion but keep them under control. I need to keep control.

Accept help when I need it and even though I think I do not need it does not mean that I cannot accept it. That was a bit of a circular sentence was it not? I am writing this post to clear my mind. As you can see I am having a bit of a time keeping calm. I am calm, I am breathing, I am composed.

There will be times when what I am saying is not organized or carefully written. It is okay though, there is never a person who is consistently perfect. Or perfect in general. I am rambling and completely off focus. Oh my, I think I am done with this for now.