Looking Up

I have a lot to catch you all up on. As you know I have had a lot on my plate, the main dish being that I needed a job. Well my applying like a mad woman has paid off! I went in for an interview at Discount Gun Sales today and the lady liked me so much she hired me right away. I start work tomorrow and I must say that I am so happy. Things really have been looking up and what timing!

These past couple of weeks have been particularly trying for me for various reasons. So much so that I have been having suicidal thoughts. Now, let me make this blatantly clear, I will not and will NEVER kill myself. I just sometimes want to. I do not support suicide and there is no excuse for it. It is nothing but selfish. Now, there is a sort of suicide that I will explain at a later time, that I do support and before you get all huffy with me, relax. I said I will explain what I am talking about later. Wait until then before you get upset.

Anyway, things are looking up. Not only did I finally land a job but I also am enrolled to take my GED courses starting next week Tuesday. My living situation is improving as well. I will be moving back into my mother's house so that my step father can take care of me and keep me on track. The only thing with that is I still have yet to tell my mother. I will not surprise her with it the same day I move back in, that is just uncalled for. The house is only a backyard away so I do not see it as any great length. Eventually I would like to move out but for now I am just happy with what all has been going on.

My boyfriend has been exceptionally supportive and helpful with all this. He keeps me calm and comforts me as well as helps me to keep moving forward. Honestly I do not know where I would be without him. No I do not depend on him but he really is such a big help. I am thankful. Anywho, that is all I have to say for now. I know I apologize almost every blog post but I want to let you all know that I am sorry I am not able to post as much as I use to. I have received some letters inquiring as to why and expressing their missing of my flood-posting.

Once life evens out a little more I should be able to post more consistently. My laptop just last week, was horribly contaminated with so many viruses that I literally cannot use it anymore so my access to the internet has been limited(currently me and my boyfriend are house-sitting for his mom and she has given permission to use her internet). Not an excuse I know, but I just want you to know that it is not on purpose! I love writing and keeping everyone updated. This is it for now, I will write later.

Stay strong friends.

Troubling Reality

A series of unfortunate events (I love those books) have been taking place. They push me to the brink and very hard and trying decisions are needing to be made. "What do I do?" I find myself asking. I learned of the abuse that has been going on at my Father's house when my sisters have to go live there. The trouble being that we can't simply go to court and gain custody. Reason being, we cannot afford it. My family is in poverty (I live with my mother full time) and we can hardly afford the every other week that they are here.

So what exactly do we do? We have no source of income except for my grandmother's retirement. Other then that? Nothing. I myself continue to apply anywhere and everywhere so that I may help out. My original plan was to simply get a job and give half the earnings to my grandmother and mother to go towards the family all while I attend college. But since we have learned of this abuse we need to get my sisters over with us full time so that they are safe. My plans have now changed and I am to post-pone college and work on getting two jobs to go towards the family. One pay check will go to the family entirely, and they will get half of the other pay check.

I must make this work, I have to make this work. I need jobs and I need them now. I am desperate. Please friends, send me all the positivity and blessings that you can. The very safety of my little sisters is at stake and I cannot allow that to continue on any longer. If any of you have any ideas, solutions, or work for me please contact me